BFF

I feel like I'm losing my best friend. I feel like I'm losing my best friend to a BOY! A boy. I don't hate this boy at all. In fact, I'm the one who got them together. But sometimes I wish they never got together. I wish that they never got together so that I could have her back. She didn't die or anything, she's the same girl that has been by my side since 6th grade social studies class. But she feels more distant. Everything is about him. Him. Him. Him. We barely talk now. If we do talk, it's usually about him. An argument they're having or just smth that they did tg. And I love that she's happy. But what about me? Whenever we hang out, she's never fully there. She's either on the phone texting or calling him. And if she's not doing that, she's talking about him or lost in thought about him. If we hang out and HE'S THERE? Forget about it, she's all over him and basically ignores everything and everyone else. It's like she's gone. She's not HERE anymore. And maybe I'm just being dramatic, but I really do feel this way. Dramatic or not, I feel like she's fleeting. And maybe we're just growing up and growing apart. But I don't want to grow apart. Not from the girl who made everything feel right in the world. Not from the girl who I kept living for when I didn't want to. Not from the girl who is my sister, even though we aren't blood. And my GOD do I feel like a fucking asshole for thinking this way because WHY am I so hurt that she's happy? She's finally fucking happy and I'm sitting here like a sad puppy because he's getting more attention than me. But I was here first. And maybe I'm just upset or salty because I don't have a relationship at all and my love life is in worse ruins than the village of Pompeii, but I think my feelings are still valid. If the bf can separate his friends and his relationship with my best friend...why can't she? Idk I think I'm just dramatic. My period started and my emotions are all over the place. I love her and I am so happy that she finally found somebody that won't and doesn't treat her like shit. But I just wish that things were like they were b4 yk? It's getting to the point that someone I just met THIS SCHOOL YEAR knows more about my recent events than she does...and that was never the case. It'z ok! This is just a tough phase in girlhood U-U