Prayer for an End to Uncertainty, Letting Myself Float

I feel like a rock on a beach, slowly eroding into sand each time the waves lick my surface, expanding to vastness grit by tedious grit. I want wingspan, I want every piece of me to spiral and tornado in the water. Once my last grain loosens, I will move slowly with the rocking ocean, pushed further and further, searching for the horizon as it grows nearer, still never to be touched. 

I don’t want to feel trapped within myself, bound to every tragedy, only supporting the weight of incoming ships and the excited footsteps of beachgoers. I want to be the water that surrounds them, divided but never broken. I’d be a part of something larger, something neverending, something whole and pure.

Right now, I am constantly confused and unsure of what steps are taking me in the right direction. I feel pain no matter what I choose. For now, I fall wayward to the wind and let it take me as it whistles. I’m remembering my choice to let go. Rock is unchanging until the waves overtake its movements. I am the child skipping my own stone on the water, I sink to the ocean floor and envelop myself in the depth of uncertainty.