i think my friend has a crush on me... lets talk about how boring this weeks been

wouldnt put this as a actual blog entry (beacuz it doesnt have a date at the start) so ill try 2 make it short. 

soooooo.... yesterday my friend asked me if I wanted 2 hang out in my local area. i already got sus vibes from this beacuz of tree (another person who i had to reject) from a few months back. but i was like, whatever. im desperate for social face 2 face with kids my age. but i REALLY dont wan2 deal with romance rn. not only do i not like this girl, who ill call melon 4 now. but i only see melon as a friend. plus... and well.. i mean its my fucking blog so like who gives it a shit but as you know if youve seen my previous blogs ive literally just realised recently that i like MEN. real men, which is big news beacuz ive identified as aroace for a year b4 this. i say im bi, but its hard to tell because i probably do like irl woman 2 its just i have a landslide attraction towards men 80% of the time. so, i kinda nees to tackle that atm. oh... and if ur wondering the guy i have a crush on i... fuck i dont wanna write it down cuz its fucking embarrassing even tho ive already written it on other blogs. LOOK IF YOUR CURIOUS GO THRU MY OTHER BLOGS!1! but yeah, hes like a online figure and has no clue who i am. which is FINE. but idk?? thats just NEVER happened 2 me b4 to i just need to deal with that first. oh yeah, and the other reason is that i havent had a crush on the real girl yet in my life. 

anyway we set up a time and place and then l8r she texted me saying "hey, wanna know my favourite ship?" and internally i was like.... holy shit no no no PLEASE dont say me and you. so i just responded, "from what thing?" and then she replied "me x you **LIP BITING EMOJI** " and then quickly sent a /j after. and i just responded with a huh cat gif. and then i accidentally AND I REALLY DO MEAN ACCIDENTALLY said a really sus thing to her that sounded like flirting, so shit. 

other than that, this weeks been EXETREMELY boring. and not even normal boring, like weirdly dissapointing? well 4 starters, the person who takes me out for a few hours didnt show up, i couldnt go 2 my youth group like i normally do on tuesdays because i had this art group and i dressed up 4 no reason and the art group and extremely depressing. then the next day our school had an outing to this military base. which sounds cool as shit but because i live in Australia and war wise we have done basically nothing the whole place waz like "so yeah we built this building in case of an emergency... which never happened. and we have these huge ass canons, which we never used in battle."

"the ocean was beautiful though... i couldnt stop staring at it.. "

and by the end of the tour i was starving 2 death. then thursday the person who was supposed 2 take my out monday came but we didnt do anything special which sucked. then it turns out today, which usually my grandma takes me 2 her house. turns out she couldn't cuz of an appointment. so that fucking sucks!! butt at least i have a phone!!! so im happy.. im a lot happier than i was a while ago. so i have hope. 

anyway, wish me luck on sunday and hopefully i dont get suduced