I feel like theres always something wrong with me.

I get my period on the first week of the month and it is almost may so the week before my period is always the worst

So anyway, this is what I feel right now with hormones manipulating it. I feel like there's something wrong with me and I just need to fix that. 

Specifically with stimming(?) Like I can't stop moving my legs whenever I'm feeling impatient and it is so annoying and tiring for me but at the same time, stopping it is annoying as well. I don't do this back in high school but now, I can't seem to stop. 

When will life be the best for me? When will I feel like the person I want to be? 

I do not feel like going to therapy tomorrow because shes making me take pictures of ma t myself pretending to be the person I want to become. I really feel like sht rn and I can do it, but It won't be genuine and I want to feel genuine while I'm pretending yknow. 

I want to finally be satisfied with who I am. I cannot accept this me right now because when I accepted this version of me, I became lazy, depressd, obese, and I let go of all goals because that is who I truly am. And I will never accept this me again. I need to change.