Neopian Times Anxiety owo

I've been doing better than ever in terms of managing my social anxiety and RSD. I've sort of accepted that it's something I'll always have to contend with and made the conscious decision to be brave and accept the risk of judgement and rejection in everything I do. I used to think I hated people, but I realise now that I was just afraid of them. I've always longed to be part of a community, and being able to interact with other people makes me happy. 

A few months ago I was picking up my mom's medication at the pharmacy and a woman stopped me to ask if I knew the date. She then proceeded to tell me about the bread she was thinking of buying and how it was different than the buns she normally bought. That brief conversation felt special; the fact that she felt she could approach me to ask for the date and share a small glimpse into her world. 

ANYWAY lulz, this was actually supposed to be about the NT. I'm overjoyed to have accomplished my childhood dream of having both a series and a comic published, but I'm embarrassed because of how much of the story I left in the drafting phase in my rush to finish it in time. There are whole scenes and transitions missing, awkward dialogue, story elements I would have liked to change... 

Just writing this and getting it off my chest makes me feel a lot better, though. It puts things into perspective and reminds me to have confidence in accepting that I'm not perfect. Perfectionism is the mean trick the dark forces in my brain play to keep me from following through with things that are meaningful to me. It's just a fun story, after all. I wouldn't hold anyone else to this standard, I need to chill the heck out.

If Make a Wish existed for kids with severe social anxiety, this probably would have been my wish. At the end of the day, one of the most meaningful things to me is having written something my younger self would have enjoyed and for it to be ours. :)

And honestly, if figures that my first published equestrian piece is a messy brynnso fanfic. In that way, I suppose, it is rather perfect in it's imperfection.