day 19 sunny dream lazy hazy

Sleepy but content today, have to decide whether I'll go home and go out with friends or stay and go back tomorrow.

Had to come to Oakville last night so I could be here to bring my brother back from university, just got home from that. Traffic wasn't bad at all, the roads and skies ended up being fairly clear. I do like driving, I forget sometimes that my anxiety makes things seem worse than they actually are. Now I'm home and making glizzies for lunch because when in Rome. The cat is outside enjoying the spring sunshine. I will take a nap after I eat I think.

I am tired but peaceful so that's okay, after my nap I will have some tea or coffee and make a decision about the rest of my night. The nice thing is I have options. My brother can drive me to the train station. I suppose the question is carrying on the peace, staying in and just hanging out in some solitude, or getting dressed up, going out, being boisterous and laughing heartily. Right now the former sounds better, but that is biased from my sleepy state.

I love the quiet. I have changed so much over the years. I know longer describe myself as mousey. I enjoy the hectic streets of the city, bright lights and loud music of the club, constantly being surrounded by people, all things that used to exhaust me. But I love the quiet. Right now all I hear is the wind and sounds of nature outside, faintly my brother unpacking downstairs, and the clacking of my keyboard as I type this. And it's nice. With a head so full of thoughts, drowning them out isn't always best. I'm playing the rests and appreciating the silence.