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up at 6 am again, thinking (obsessing over) all of my flaws. hating myself comes so naturally; over a decade worth of it ingrained into my very being. not 2 be dramatic.
hate seeps out of me and into the people I love. every choice or action I regret, the people I chose to hurt, was a result of my insecurity, my deep rooted self hatred. I am my own worst enemy, I ruin everything for myself.
It’ll take years to undo the damage I’ve caused and I don’t know if I’m even strong enough to.
I’m caging myself in my bedroom, isolating myself from everyone. I don’t want to be seen or known, just forgotten and left alone.
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