day 9 - dating stuff

As much as I love being on the internet and using it to talk with my friends and interact with other people, I wish we would realize that it's not the same as actually sitting with someone and conversing, out loud flesh to flesh. Specifically in the dating world. The fact that a "talking stage" is even a thing is insane.

Of course I realize that people used to do this just talking on the phone, but that at least required some sort of commitment and energy. You both had to be available and choose to set aside an hour to speak with each other, actually talk out loud deciphering tone and emotion. It's way too easy to reply to a text thinking nothing of it. It takes virtually no time and you can do it anywhere, anytime. If you spend a week texting someone non-stop you think that this person cares about you, that they're thinking of you and want to talk to you. But truly it's more of a natural reflex at this point, you see a text so you respond. 

Because of this we think we've spent a certain amount of time getting to know someone but if it's not face-to-face then it's way less valuable. We can mask and hide behind the words we type, it's easier to project the image of what we want to see onto someone when you literally can't even see them while you're talking. Then you think you know who someone is and when you actually are with them in person, the do something out of character for who you've made them to be. Shattering your image of them and quickly pulling you out of a love you've fallen into under false pretenses. 

I think that dating apps can still work and have a place in society, I just wish we could get back to a sense of realness that feels like it isn't here anymore. Although to be fair, men have always been shitty, and they always will be.

*Yes I am currently in this process of dating and getting to know someone, this blog entry is not about that- it's still going fine, just some thoughts I've been having as I'm coming up on a year of dating and mostly online*