Human pain.

I dont think my meds are doing what they should. (im on prozac) and sure im not sad, but im definitely not happy. i need to feel bad. to hurt and cry but i cant with my medicine. i dont know what i need. i want to feel the pain again. to float aimlessly in the river again. to sniffle and cry as i dig my feet into the dirt. 

i don't want to romanticize sadness or depression. thats not at all what i want. but im only human. we all are. we're supposed to hurt, to cry, to love. but im not doing that right now. i wont get off my meds, im not planning on it at least. im just tired of feeling numb like this and i suppose i needed to vent.