Ugh I hate driving test

Girlie keeps getting scheduled at peak traffic and I get anxious and I’m like fuck it. When I really shouldn’t. I am a danger to society. But a girl needs to get out of the house. I CANT KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS. I CANT. i say in the comfort of my bed, puppy in lap. Literally why am i wired like this. I have it so good and yet I have a pit in my chest and a voice saying kys. Like really . BRB cat is meowing to be let in. 

You know that audio on TikTok where it’s like. There’s this new trend bed rottting… like stfu I am physically unable to move out of bed for hours until my body is like okay you’re free now. WASTING MY ENTIRE DAY AND YALL CALLING IT A TREND. I want to get out of bed. I want to be a human-being. I want to do my fafsa, but my body fucking aches and I feel like I’m dying and I fucking gotta distract myself from the feeling cause girlie isn’t built for emotions apparently. 

Like I have a good life, good parents, but yet my mind is what fucking after me. Girlie could just be sitting there and suddenly I can see myself dying in any situation . Mother fucking. You KNOW FINAL DISTANATION WHERE THEY ALL JUST DIE IN THE MOST RANDOM GROTESQUE WAYS. THAT IS MY BRAIN WHEN NOT OCCUPIED WITH STUPID CONTENT LIKE. I WAS 8 AND MY DAD WOULD MAKE A STOP AND LEAVE THE CAR AND IM LIKE OMG WHAT IF THEY KILL HIM WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF .. BRAIN IS CONSTANTLY MAKING UP scenarios,. AND BITCHES BE LIKE JUST IGNORE THEM LIKEjsdliuf.oisrzghfdxlifhxdf.li , suddenly when I have my earbuds on all the time listening to music, podcast, shows, or videos, I’m a dick for not interacting like bruh nckjdsncjidsahcpiusdaphvuiperahveraipunveuripnvfeapiuh.,… 

I love how I’m normal some of the times and insane the other times. Makes me feel extra crazy cause there is no constant feeling and I never know how I’m gonna feel about life.