I want.

My relationships will forever be tainted by my parents. I want to go a day without thinking about them, without mentioning them. Ill never get what I deserved as a kid or as an adult. Ill never get my comforting moments with my mom. Ill never know about her stupid childhood adventures or her goals. She’ll never know of mine. I’ll never get the protection from my father. I won't get rebellious fights or hear that I make him proud. He’ll never know about my first relationship or see my success or fails in life. My mom died before I left middle school. My dad died before I left high school. I feel selfish for constantly saying 'i want'. "I want the childhood I deserve." "I want my parents to see my first love and the aftermath of it." "I want my dad to tell me he's sorry." " I want my mom to give me a reason she was never there."