HES IN MY FUCKING DREAMS

his birthday just passed so of course I had a dream about him last night. in my dream I went home, back in North Carolina. and for some reason in my dream, I was trying not to go see him. i was trying to be strong. but then I seen him walking down our street. and in my dream we just locked eyes, and he got in the car with me. he hugged me so tight. we sat in the car for hours and we just talked. he told me how much he thought about me and how much he missed me. we laughed so much and it felt just how it used to. his hand in mine felt exactly how I had remembered. you could never imagine the empty feeling in my heart when I woke up this morning. I have had so many times where I thought I had hit rock bottom, but I just didn't know how much lower I could fall. after I woke up, I just thought about my dream and I went to the bottom of my purse and I reread all of the letters he wrote me. I hate being stuck with all of his words, but he meant them. I wish I could've stayed. please God bring me back to north carolina