PICK UP THE PIECES FUCK NIGGA

Today has been the weirdest, confusing, and saddest days of my life. Truth is a difficult word for me, and it's not difficult because you have to tell the truth, it's difficult because it hurts. I've been lying to 2 important people in my life over stupid, dumbass shit. I didn't lie to them because I was to tell the truth, I lied because I know the truth hurts. But now I realize that it hurts even more when they don't know the truth. IT HURTS EVEN MORE WHEN YOU LIE ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S UNNECESSARY. But also it hurts you more because you think you protecting them when you really hurting them, by lying. They forgave me, but currently I don't forgive myself because it's not the first time, and I know that I'm one more move away from losing them. I guess that's my punishment, so I'll deal with it. 

Now that's out the way, I've lost the most precious, understanding, honest, compassionate person in my life today. I say these things because she is the ONLY person that have truly been there for me no matter what. She relates to me so much mentally because she has been in my shoes, plus worse. She was my life support/saver. She dedicated small time she had in life to help me become some type of better as a person. I guess that didn't really work since I'm still fucking up, so I'm truly sorry. Currently I'm completely lost in my life, and I honestly don't think I can continue my life. Anyways enough of crying, Y'ALL ENJOY YA DAY. GET GOD IN YA LIVES FUCK NIGGA.

(p.s. i still don't know why i write on here)💜