Day 113 of going back to school like the deftones song

Alright fellas, vacation arc over! Time to lock in and get some work done, get into some universities, let's goooooo. 

• So long it hurts 
• My beloved 
• Yellowface recap
• Short burst of motivation 
• Hamlet who? I'm literally Dorian Gray
• Quote of the day

Why oh why! Oh woe is me! First day back at school, like the deftones song but we are not Barack, it's actually joever! I'm already so Don with school, they decided to make the first day of school have longer lessons instead of assembly. Bro, I can't even. Like abraDAMN that was the longest, most tedious, most laborious day of school ever. I'm also gonna stop with President name puns now, I looked up some more to use and I'm only finding conservative jokes, I can't anymore. Conservative??? Like conservative forces??? Like in physics????

In physics we learnt about conservative forces and honestly, I don't mind. I remembered why I even do this work in the first place, duh! Its to see the love of my life, my science teacher. She even gave me some candy because I was the only one who did revision, what a lovely woman! I love her! It's gonna be a struggle, I must work hard at this subject and also try to remain faithful! What do I mean, well, I'm not proud of this but I tried to court girls my own age!! We all know about the art girl story but! Now I'm ready to go back to my science teacher! Also, jokes aside, I'm really touched that she actually recognized and appreciated something I did, maybe that's why I'm in love with her, she gives me attention, she gives me praise and I'm so starved for that, it's very noticeable. My science teacher always praises me for what I do right, at every instance I can think of, she's done that. Also, a new teacher started working at my school, I almost just typed her name but I'm not gonna doxx her but she looks exactly like Mrs. Robinson, it's so uncanny. I mean Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate, look up an image, me and discord are beefing over images. I FREAKING LOVE THE GRADUATE! Watch The Graduate. 

Book recap! Whatever negative thing I said about Yellowface, I take it back, this book is my favorite type of humor. The kind that is the embodiment of that tiktok sound, "ohhhh that's not..." if you know you know. Essentially, just cringe humor. I love cringe humor. The main character wrote a novel about Chinese history and she's white and then she gets invited to events where people who are actually Chinese are moved by her book or people ask her if it's okay that she wrote it being that she's white. So awkward. She wrote under a pseudonym which implied that she was of Asian heritage or atleast it provides some ambiguity as to her race and then there were too scenes where she had to tell Asian people who were very impressed by her work that she was actually white. It's so cringe. Like there was a young writer who was Asian American and she looked up to the main character and did a zoom call with her and the chapter ended with the main character having to admit she's white. It's like those cherry picked Larry David clips I see on YouTube. Or Always Sunny episodes, it makes me want to hide in my own skin. Highly recommend! 

Yep, I'm having another burst of motivation, not sure how long this one will last but it's gotta keep me going for like 5 weeks or it's so joever! We will not bounce Barack if I fail, I hope I can pull out some kind of Trump card during these exams. There will be no Fixon that kind of a fuck up. Okay, I'll stop for real. I don't know where I was going with this, I guess I was gonna say I've adopted a similar schedule to the one from my old "until I get a gf" blogs. That's about it.

You probably read that headline and thought "Moth, are you okay????" Don't worry, I'm still literally Hamlet but I've been relating to Dorian Gray hard. Like, I'm sure it's worse for feminine presenting, ya'll gotta deal with the male gaze on top of this issue that I'm working up towards but like, physical appearance. It sucks, I hate looking at myself. And what feels like only a short while ago, I was so positive about how I look but oh how the tables turn! I'm so pedantic about how I look these days, I'm so hung up on these things. Vanity! Come in clutch! Atleast winter is coming up so I can dress up nicely and feel better about myself. Ok, fellas, real talk! Scarves! Nothing on this planet has improved my self esteem lime wearing a scarf, I just feel great when I have my brown scarf wrapped around my neck. My cousin, not the lawyer one, the one who left said I look so classical and I'm taking that as a compliment. If you struggle with these things, gets a scarf, real talk. Sorry to my Northen Hemisphere readers, you guys gotta wait until winter to hit again. 

Anyway, quote of the day!!

We spend our days locked in a room, content inside a bubble

And in the nighttime we go out and scour the streets for trouble

I don't know why I picked this one, Im in my Alvvays phase again, this is from there song Archie, Marry Me. Quick aside, I don't love the song as much as I used to but that music video goes hard!!! Like they're out on boats and stuff, they're sailing, tell me that isn't the life! Right now! Tell me! Tell me that isn't the life! Sailing out on the sea like Alvvays in the Archie, Marry Me music video, song also goes hard but like the songs from their new album goes harder. Anyway, I just liked this lyric, I sing it all the time, I don't know the rest of the lines, I just say this part over and over again. 

Anyway, thank you for reading this one, fellas, I gotta work now, good night! Oh I forgot to mention here's a Nikki Careon video that fit in with the ramble section good night frfr.