songs that wrench my heart out my chest and wring it dry

idk if its because i feel sorta depressed but im currently loosing my mind listening to these songs because of how good they are. maybe its something that comes with these waves of emotions but these songs hit different..

 its the type of song that are "sad happy" atleast in my opinion. Something that could describe the nice little sunshiney parts of life that make you wanna cry because of how beautiful and pretty are and also the deepest darkest dirtiest corners of your life that make you want to sob.

and maybe im just weird but it puts me in a dazed states and a certain type of mood thats self destructive, really. but i love it in a weird way. 

so here are some songs that im sure nobody really cares about and i probably cant explain why they all correlate to each other but...

sea, swallow me - cocteau twins, harold budd (this hurts bad omg)

all i wanted - paramore

glide - lily chou chou

golden hour sb19 remix - jvke

you & i - d4vd

take me home - pinkpanthersss

pain - pinkpanthersss

everlong - foo fighters

my hero - foo fighters

fever dream -mxmtoon

bags - clairo

butterfly - bts

epiphany - jin

mrs magic (strings version) - strawberry guy

riff 2 - flawed mangoes

letter to my 13 year old self - laufey

reverse cowgirl - mickey darling (mostly the intro)

in my head - bedroom

new flesh - current joys

become the warm jets - current joys

wondering if you care - flying fish

wyoming - elijah fox (I LOVE HIM SO BAD)

break - alex g

pretend - alex g

2!3 - bts

lovergirl - saturra

street market / love scene - michael small

sunday - the cranberries

oh how the years go by - amy grant (again, mostly the intro instrumental)

dreaming of you - selena 

out getting ribs - feeling blew

t r a n s p a r e n t  s o u l - willow

i hope to be around - men i trust

light - wave to earth

sunny - wave to earth

parfum de'etoiles - ichiko aoba

dragonfly - dana and alden

orange flower - enhyphen (the trailer was better)

circles - post malone

roxanne - arizona zervas (this one makes the least amount of sense. purely nostalgia)

tek it - cafune

this is what autumn sounds like - jvke

bad habit - steve lacy

astronomy - conan gray

astronaut - jin

sparks - coldplay ( love them )

run - bts (the mv rlly plays into this)

romantic homocide - d4vd

amygdala - agust d (this one is more intense and only dark but still GOOD ASF)