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He who is above, the truest form of us, pure yet angry.
I dont particularly believe in God. I dont believe that the world is without mysticism, but I do not believe in the Christian God. I do believe, however, that a belief in God can be a fantastic thing for people to become better, to strive for betterness, if only the concept wasnt coopted by those who want to use the message to spread hate. When they said the devil was tempting, they ever thought he would use hate of others, not love of indulgance, and therefore they themselves have become the ones who spread hate.
I dont know if i truly believe God doesnt exist, or if its more like I cant be a part of something like a church. I see all the hateful, disgusting things Churches all around the USA spout, even in my own local church in the middle of the bible belt. I myself believe that reality is something of both beauty and pain, in a delicate, constant battle, and that its grandness and spectacle is something to be admired. Something that, Im not entirely sure could happen just by chance. I can believe it does, and I can imagine how through the patience of the universe how it slowly changed and developed how it is to this day, but I just dont know. Maybe the idea of God just comforts me.
I guess what interests me about this topic is how much I dont truly know. I am a woman of logic, I try to make myself clear and concise, I try to understand things fully, but with religion I simply cant. Is it because theres nothing to understand? That I just have to have "faith?" I dont even have faith in the common man anymore, or myself, much less a God. Sometimes reality and dreams seem to meld in my mind, and this constant weird "everythingness" clouds my mind. I can barely have faith in what Im thinking. So how can i have true faith in belief in something like how the world was created?
..but the concept comforts me. The idea that my thwarted suicide was intended, the idea that my constant struggles with my body image and the world are "tests." The feeling that theres something always looking after me, as one of Gods children. But then I come to my senses, and remember, this is what so many people fall into. I am broken, and through hell or high water I am going to fix myself, not use God or medicine as a crutch or band-aid solution. I am my own being, dammit, and I will not be coopted for a message.
So I ask, dear reader: Do you believe in God? Do you think a belief in God is even good? Do you believe that churches have lost the message of God?
yours always,
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Rose
There are times where I find comfort in the fact that a god can exist, and there are times where I find it just infuriating. I can see my (and everyone else’s) hardships as “tests”, but why should we go through those tests just to live? Why some people more than others? And if a corrupt god did exist, would we have more of a conclusive way of showing that? And if we DID have a righteous god would we have a conclusive way of showing THAT? It’s just so cloudy in my mind sometimes, the concept of god already is a big one, but all the questions that follow can either fill me with anger, curiosity, sadness, etc. I don’t necessarily believe in a god by any means, but if a god did exist all this time, I’d be… interested.
Thank you for the reply, dear reader! Always good to have more thoughts on a topic, after all discussion, we can all learn, cant we? The comfort in what we traditionally see as "god" in my opinion is the opposing force to the fear of the unknown, you give pain a face, you give hardship a reason, and suddenly it makes sense. I cannot in fact decide if that is truly a positive or negative force, in all truth. Its just, something. God is a cloudy concept, dear reader, and the whisps of its unknowingness are why people are so attracted to the concept. If something is vauge then, it is the answer to everything is it not? All loving, all vengeful, all powerful and yet you have free will. Days later, and stewing on the concept more, I think God is simply an answer to what we dont know. Maybe thats okay, but at the same time, maybe that stops people from being curious. I am like you in the fact that I do not believe in god, but if by some chance I had proof, I too would be very interested in just what it all means
-Rachel Rosethorn
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