check it, th world is your oyter!

yupp! i really don't want to be writing a blog post rn i'll be real with you. but i'll keep it simple: the past couple months have been a struggle, mentally. high highs and low lows. i have no more weed left aside from edibles that turn me inside out and are violently expensive sooo. I can't really bum around with drugs anymore, which is really really good!

with that and spring having sprung, i feel alive once more. i finished a commission i have been meaning to finish for months, and i learned two lessons, that i should not doubt myself, and that i should probably not take commissions of just any type. my commissions page needs a rework. Oh, and because this is done, i feel free! not like the commission was holding me back from anything, but... having my guilt looming didn't help my mental state.

i can't wait to relearn to enjoy drawing............. though to be honest, the only thing i want to draw is fetish art. which is unfortunate because all my sfw art accounts are gathering dust. nay, not just dust... spiders, fleas, termites...!

but i can tell you that my physical health is on the mend, i have been walking very regularly and become passionate about it, i enjoy exploring and finding my way to places far off... my calves are like ROCKS... i love it. i also found this cup on the side of the road with a giant rubber shark head on it. I loved it so i took it. i drink a lot more water now because i get to look at this stupid shark.

its basically this.

i hope my mental health follows suit. i'm really trying to wrangle in a couple things. my anger issues are at the top of the list for fixing. but i'm also working on my social phobia and my sort of mental "clarity", i'm not sure if brain fog is something you can just Fix but i'm trying. i do feel happier lately for sure, the only thing that gets me down is the state of the world... oh well. at least my life is OK! kinda. its really boring.

and finally of course... jobs. gotta get one. Man ! love that. *gritting teeth* *does not live in $15/hr min wage state so everything around here is like $11/hr* *also lives in america the worst country in the world*

but until then i am eagerly awaiting a treat for myself coming in the mail posthence. why yes.. i am indeed getting a lovely intex orca pooltoy, the classic. while getting a job is of course success for the future and survival, more importantly i can get myself some shapely plastic bullshit. i'm not smart. pleasure comes first. woops!

it's 12:32 AM. OH!!!!!! I FORGOT TO SAY!!!! my sleep schedule ! I've mended it. sorta. I slept in today, but i've been waking up from 8-10 AM :^))) i'm so happy! i have to keep it up. so that means STOPPING BLOGGING!!!!!!!! GIRUIOUOIOIOOAAAAAA!!!

i hope everyone is doing awesum