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Today was my day off from work, and I got a surprising number of things accomplished here at home. But my husband is on his 12-hour shift and my separation anxiety is becoming more of an obstacle with each passing hour.Β
I feel like I'm trapped in ADHD paralysis, but it's more of anΒ "I Can't Do Anything Until He Comes Home"Β paralysis???Β
To cope, I'm writing a new journal entry. (I'm aiming to write at least once per month... sort of to track my personal growth and/or fill in the gaps with my memory struggles.) Venting to the void is also good, I suppose.Β
Let's see... work & finance updates.Β
Work was going really well for a while, but we recently hired on 4 new employees, all of whom I've been tasked with training on my shifts. I like 3 out of the 4. One of them is a NIGHTMARE to work with. Slow as fuck, rude, abrasive personality, chatterbox, annoying on all levels. Sucks at everything she does. Truly I don't know how she has not been fired yet. One of my longtime favorite co-workers left so he could move across the country, and things aren't going to feel the same in his absence. End of an era, I suppose.Β
I'm currently *trying* to build up my savings so I can take care of my medical issues whilst being uninsured. π« It's hard to save when the world is a dumpster fire, and I just want to enjoy things while I can... and enjoying things often involves spending money haha. My hours are also being slightly reduced, which will allow me more time to work on gardening and home projects now that spring is here. Buuuut, I need money for those projects, and uh, fewer hours at work = less money.Β
I still haven't bothered to get my car repaired because I don't feel like dropping two grand on a cosmetic issue with the fender. But the materialistic side of me HATES looking at the damage on our otherwise perfect car. Every day that crumpled fender stares me in the face and mocks me.Β
Unrelated, I also want to get another tattoo whenever the IRS decides to give me my tax returns. I was also considering getting a pet tarantula again, but idk. That costs more money.Β
Social life updates... Well, I haven't got any. My social life has suffered throughout my winter depression and 6-day work weeks. By the time I get home from work, my social battery is COMPLETELY drained, and it doesn't help when I have a handful of people who spam my phone 24/7. My inbox is always flooded with people grasping for my attention. The only person I want to extend my remaining energy towards is my husband.Β
I daydream of running far away with him and starting a new, anonymous life where nobody knows us. I'm really hoping that my social battery will improve once I start having more days off again. I desperately need isolation in order to recharge, at least a couple times a week.Β
Updates regarding my 2024 goals... I've been a slacker!!!Β
My ONE realistic goal for this year was to read more books, and I have not been disciplined with that. I bought a few more but I've barely touched them. I still have books on my shelf that I acquired more than 2 years ago while I worked at the book warehouse. I just need to fucking read them! Why is it so hard!?Β
I guess other simple updates include re-stretching my earlobes and growing out my bi-hawk. It's coming in quite nicely!Β
March 21, 2024 | 9:28 PM Pacific Time
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