my friends r the worst!!!!!

i believe that when you think that someone's not a good person--especially if they're your friend--, you should tell them. tell them that you don't like their behavior. be truthful, even though it sucks. ignoring them, however, is possibly one of the most shittiest things you can do.

with that said, i don't know exactly what i had done wrong. it's very frustrating being ignored by your only group of friends, and it's lonely being me. in fact, i don't even think i did anything wrong, and it's an asshole move to do what they're doing. 

anyways, here's an update for people who're curious on what i'm up to (or just reading my blogs). i don't talk to any one of them alone, no eye contact, nothing. i treat them as if they weren't there, and they do the same to me. i finally let myself ignore them. During one specific group project, we were supposed to split into groups of four. 7 people sat there (including me), 4 of which was in my friend group. two people in my friend group grouped with the other two classmates, so there were three left. the other two people in my friend group started to talk about including other classmates who were absent, completely ignoring that i was there and i could've been in their group. i was very hurt. it was difficult holding my tears because if i did actually cry, i would've looked pathetic right then and there. so i decided to stop talking to them completely. there was no point in talking to them anymore.

it's like our friendships had never happened in the first place. i don't know, my birthday is coming up and i feel that i've wasted a lot of my money on their birthdays (money and buying things stress me out) and that because my birthday is on a holiday, i just know they're going to spend that day having fun and leaving me behind. (i lowkey want my money back >:O) 

lunches are pretty quiet. i don't go to the cafeteria anymore. in fact, i don't think i eat. i have a few granola bars in my backpack in case i really do feel hungry though. music helps. i like to listen to it to drown out their conversations when they're near me. anyways, i think this is how its going to be for a while, pretty sad, i know. but i really don't see the point in having a conversation when they don't seem to even care-- id rather them be mean to me than doing this.