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I recently had to drive to Michigan for work. I work as a traveling salesman. The company I work for was founded in the 1930s and it appears that their business model has not changed in the last 80+ years. This is lucky for me though, because I am good at it, and I enjoy the road. I enjoy the experience of seeing how American culture changes depending where you are geographically within its borders and I enjoy being a lone traveler listening to podcasts, albums, radio stations, or my own thoughts.
They have recreational marijuana in Michigan which we do not have in Pennsylvania. I hadn't felt the way I felt driving out there since I was a kid and I didn't have an Xbox, but I was on my way to a friend's house who had an Xbox. Once I got there I consumed an edible Xbox and finally understood jazz. Hearing Kind of Blue by Miles Davis while on Michigan edibles transports you to a planet where post drive work spreadsheets are meaningless.
On my drive out to Michigan I stopped at a Doubletree hotel in Ohio to get some rest before completing my journey the next morning. Around 2AM I woke up to use the bathroom, and I noticed my leg was kind of itchy... when I lifted the blankets to inspect my leg I discovered that this hotel was infested with bed bugs. There was a time in my life when I thought bed bugs weren't real. I thought bed bugs were a cute thing to talk about before bed as a way of ending the day on a light note. "Don't let the bedbugs bite." They are real and they fucking suck. ...get it?
I was in a real dilemma now because I had to wake up in a few hours to complete my journey. Calling the front desk to change rooms was out of the question because if my room had bed bugs, other rooms at the hotel were probably infested as well. I didn't think I had time to check out and find another hotel and it was too cold to sleep in my car. What I ended up doing was inspecting the 15 pillows that Doubletree provided, making sure they were bug free, and filling the bathtub with pillows. I got into the pillow filled tub to try and get some rest, but not before angrily tweeting at Doubletree to let them, and the rest of the world know about my problem.
I was in a real dilemma now because I had to wake up in a few hours to complete my journey. Calling the front desk to change rooms was out of the question because if my room had bed bugs, other rooms at the hotel were probably infested as well. I didn't think I had time to check out and find another hotel and it was too cold to sleep in my car. What I ended up doing was inspecting the 15 pillows that Doubletree provided, making sure they were bug free, and filling the bathtub with pillows. I got into the pillow filled tub to try and get some rest, but not before angrily tweeting at Doubletree to let them, and the rest of the world know about my problem.
In the morning they were very helpful at the front desk and they provided me with a full refund. I was chatting with a friend a few days later and he suggested I remove my bedbug tweet because one day if I make it in comedy Doubletree might keep me from getting work because they sponsor things. I couldn't believe he believed in me like that. No one had ever before expressed to me that they thought I had a chance at making it in this business.
I thanked my friend for his support and assured him that I didn't think the large hotel chain would fuck me over twice. Once by putting me in an infested room, and then again by keeping me from getting work because I called them out. He replied with a question: "What do you think the two trees represent?
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