I Need To Get A Few Things Off My Chest (or stomach in my case)

I have a lot in my mind currently. I’m scared to go back to the time when I was 12, that time was horrible as I just started brand new. I was in a new school and everyone knew each other but I was the weird kid who liked Danganronpa (even the kids the “weird kids” like me didn’t care about me) 

By the time I made friends who were like me they were having problems and it didn’t take until a little while for my problems to set in. 

When it did set in I couldn’t handle it, it was so bad to the point I almost got sent away and no at the time could help me. Every day I wanted to not exist and be with her (I’m not gonna tell you who’s she is)

By now all this has passed but just two days ago this had resurfaced as my father was arguing to my grandmother. When they were arguing I found out  my dad had mommy issues and this just made me even more upset as the way how she was treated by my dad made even more sense. 

My father were projecting his anger onto her because he didn’t get the love he needed from his mother and therefore had a hard time helping her. 

This makes me sad and want to go back to the time I was 12 and I really don’t want this happen as I am already having problems with who I am and what gender identity I fit in.