Currently listening to Radiohead and crying (3/2/24)

Skippable intro:

Ok i know im not talking to anyone when i post these blogs but it's been a while since i posted one and i feel bad. also don't mind today's blog title. 

I wrote this one on the topic of queer youth and my experience growing up in a space where I didn't feel safe to be myself. I was born in an area of Los Angeles that was, at the time, predominantly queer, but my parents deemed it too unsafe and we moved to a more conservative area. I didn't feel much safer, though, because as a queer teenager in the heterosexual world I was raised in, I felt like an outcast. And so I went back to my birthplace as a late teen to visit and I felt robbed of a crucial experience, one of feeling accepted and understood, that was instead replaced with shame, endless bargaining, and self-hatred. 

i think i'm gonna make it into a song soon so idk stay tuned for that??

Cigarettes on the ground on Ventura Boulevard

Born in silverlake

A world of babes

Rented a condo by the lake

The token straights

And you don’t have to see this side of it

We’ll make it fit

Tomorrow we’ll leave this place

And so then you’ll be safe

Is there a reason you only write sad songs

Roots ripped from the soil you belong

It’s a love you’ve never known before

So take off, to a garden that will worship you more

Crack me out of my suppressed shell

Don’t talk just do

Take me to your room

Take me to a different kind of hell

With a stroke of your thumb you’ve finally

Lit the votive in my heart

(All my life) I’ve been devoted to a sea

That kept me under, and you set me free

Is there a reason you only write sad songs

Roots ripped from the soil you belong

It’s a love you’ve never known before

So take off, to a garden that will worship you more