LOVE IS TRASH AND OLD

1/03/24

there's this girl in my class who sat next to me he first day of school, i already told that story but what i did not tell was that she was my gf in 2018 and that she was my best friend too, but then we never spoke again in years but now, we are just clicking again, she is wonderful and she said today that wanted someone to kiss but she has a boyfriend but they are a long distance relationship but she needed to kiss someone, i just said to her that if i kissed her it wasn't cheating, she didn't know that i was gonna kiss her but at the end of the day i never kissed her, i didn't wanted to do that shit, seems really unmoral and immature

the thing is that im afraid of catching feelings again. I CANT catch feelings, she has a loving boyfriend and i really don't want to suffer for that again but she is so beautiful and actually before my first day of school i thought i was completely gay but i have a mess in my head rn because of her, idk what to say to her

she leans on my shoulder and she draw us in a cute way and today she take my hand say that she really liked me and she told me that if she didnt have a boyfriend she would give me a chance and i am so lost idk if shes playing with me or something but ahhhhhh so much things in my head