2/29/24| A rant about some friends. pt.1/2

Ever since graduating highschool ive kinda lost touch with my "best friends"

My first friend who ill call "barbie" is a super cool dude who's always done their best to hype me up. they love poetry, something we have in common, and they're super into movies and all sorts of kinda mainstream content. I don't talk to them frequently and I see them even less frequently, despite the fact we live in the same town, and most of this is because they don't respond to me.

ill make plans and invite them, they either don't respond until its too late, or they enthusiastically respond only for 9/10 times to say they don't feel good, or are tired, and have to cancel. thats honestly the part that makes me the most upset. id rather they not get my hopes up...

but its like every time we DO hangout its the most fun I've had in ages. the most recent time was shortly after the recent holiday. we met at a local boba place and exchanged gifts. I got them a taylor swift album, a plushie, some cute duck earrings that match their style, and a specialty pikmin boba straw topper since they love pikmin.

they gave me some pins, and made me a bunch of plastic pixel art of my favorite characters in media, it was mostly Adventure time and sonic related and it made me super happy (theyre on my cork board rn)

then afterwards we went thrifting, and despite me being tired and depressed from the holidays (family am I right?) we had a lot of fun talking it up about which dress would look cuter on who.

but like when we aren't in person I feel like they rarely make any time for me, and the constant cancellation of plans makes me feel like they don't care. plus im always reaching out first, if they ever reach out first its usually through a tiktok being like "us" and it keeps me invested but it feels so one sided for the most part and it really hurts my feelings because despite being one of the only friends stuck with me in my hometown, I see people who live hours away more often than them and that really sucks.