AM I GETTING MY LIFE TOGETHER OR IS THIS THE START OF THE CYCLE

YO. CAUSE CONTEXT: I GO THROUGH THESE CYCLES OF LIKE, YO DEPRESSION? I DON'T KNOW HER. I AM THE MOST STABLE PERSON EVER. I HAVE GOALS. I GOT ENERGY. I CAN BE A FUNCTIONING HUMAN PERSON IN SOCIETY. but then I'm like, actually existing is too much, I can't handle having skin, I must rip it off, the lights are too bright, the clock ticks too loud, the only time I'm happy is when I'm sleeping, type of vibe. So like idk you know,, but I have a car now, I drove it (gotta schedule drivers test). I have a counselor who is helping me find a therapist, I am on antidepressants, vitamins, & birth control to regulate my state of mind. and I think its working but like, I thought this last year, and I was wrong. BUT I feel like I'm chipping away at marble, creating me, like I was just a slab.

like 2020 (the start of the end). I was here. I was just rock like like bearly functioning, just trying to survive and each new thing I tried help but minisculely, like I was chipping away towards an actual human being. and rn I'm like a rough shape of what I could be and I really hope I can actually get there. I really wanna get there.