frustrations

JUST A SMALL VENT RAHHHH

i HATE group project works WTFFF why are we having one NOW?!??!? WHEN I KIND OF......DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS???? i mean i do but theyre kinda actively ignoring me which makes me feel rlly pathetic tbh. i'm seriously distancing myself from them now, and i hardly spoke to them all day. but it feels like im the only one affected??? i'm so tired of everything and i seriously wonder what they'd do if i disappeared or something bad happened to me because the last time i was sick they didnt ask me why i was absent or missing

i know its best to ignore them, and i'm trying to talk to new people but it feels just a tad intruding (theres this girl in a group of chill people that annoys me SO MUCH so i'm not sure if i'll get along well in that group lolol) and most of them don't eat at the cafeteria, so it's hard for me to get food without running into my "friends" or just getting food in general. i feel so ignored and i'm not sure whether i want to find out why they're doing this, cause what if i'm a bad person????? what if i'm forced to change for a group of people who don't seem to care? group projects are the worst and i was left behind again...THE WORST PART IS THAT I HAD TO GO WORK WITH THE STEM KIDS WTF anyways i want to die gn /hj

if they didn't want to talk or want me around, they should've just said so, right? they should've said something, anything. chase me away, tell me that i'm a horrible person to be around and i'll actually fuck off. because i'm like air to them i don't know how to behave around them, but i'm trying to be alone and i'm trying to do something. idk, joining a new group just feels 'oh you got kicked out so you're trying to join us?!' type of vibe and i feel a bit pathetic (my school is really small so everyone knows everyone) 

>:( i hope this goes away quickly and they somehow return to talk to me, either that or i hope that i manage to be comfortable in being alone.