Silent love looks good on me

Like any other teen,the topic of love and relationships navigate my mind on a daily basis.I really want to have a nice 'teenage romance' and go on dates,have cute matching bracelets,go to prom and all of those other cutesy things but I feel like im more of a long term relationship type of gal.Many have the idea that teen love is just a relationship thats untill highschool and you part ways with that person to probably never see them again but i wanna have something beyond highschool.I want to be able to be with someone right now and have them fit into the ideal vision of my future. Im not saying i want to date to marry, I just want something long term like 2-5 years. 

I have one past relationship but i dont like to count it as a real relationship because it was only 2 months and that relationshio helped me discover how i need to be with someone that already figured themselves out emotionally;not someone emotionally unavailable or constipated xD. Even if its long distance,as long as we are constantly in contact i would love it.Its a bit harder to even find an ideal partner when you´re a genderfluid person who will only date pan or bi people to not have to 'hide' a side of themselves to please and/or be with someone.My friends have tried to get me to 'talk' to people on insta but I get super nervous and shyyyyy.

I guess i can just hope to either get over my shyness when it comes to 'situationships' and start texting people to get to know them with the purpose of maybe dating or that i meet my person soon