I HATE SCHOOL

In three days i enter my first day of school and every year i sit in the same seat, the last and in a corner that is my seat and every year i go to school 30 minutes early so i can get that seat

the problem is that i have no friends and where i study the seats are for two, so my only resource was asking an ex friend to sit with me and she was so pleased, she really wanted to sit with me for a while but didn't know how to say it, maybe, MAYBE, we can become friends again, for a time we were more than friends, and she was my first relationship but now times has changed and i don't like girls anymore and she has a boyfriend, i cant say that I'm not a little jealous, but life is like that i guess

i have been listening to the smiths a lot since my cousin told me more about them, the make me want to play guitar but i am sooo bad at playing the guitar

btw did i say this was my last year? well, it is, and i think the next year i want to enter to uni to study arts, my whole life i wanted to do arts but i was so scared of the opinion of others that i said that i wanted to do computer science and i convinced everyone that i wanted to do that (i convinced myself as well) but that is not what i wanted for my future and maybe i still don't know what i want for my future but the only thing i know is that i want to do arts so bad and i always wanted to but you know, scared

i really want to write more here, and i will! I'm doing a total detox of my phone so writing here is gonna be a total distraction from my phone