mood swings n shit

I fucking hate my mood swings so much. like for a few days i be talking non stop, being productive af and actually getting my life together and then all of the sudden the depressive episode kicks in and I start isolating myself from people and skipping school, not showering for days and destroying all my progress I achieved the last few days. i feel like having two different persoanlities depending on how my mood is. I promised myself not to smoke again, not to relapse again and then I relapse. I wish i was normal tbh