⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽ stuck inside ☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

TW//Vent

sometimes i worry im a burden to the people i care about. the last thing i want is to be a burden. id rather isolate myself from everyone than be a burden. i worry i dont care about the people i love the right way. i do care about the people in my life deeply and i worry about being too much.

im always either too affectionate, or not affectionate enough. if someone hints that i might not be enough, i completely shut down, not able to show anything. its just a bad coping mechanism i grew up with. i feel like it stops me from being able to grow. 

i want to show the people in my life that i care about them. i want it to be reflected in my actions. i want to be helpful. i want to be enough. arent things like this supposed to come naturally? if im trying so hard to prove myself, doesnt that make my feelings forced?

i want the people in my life to feel loved and appreciated, because they deserve that. it feels like i cant do things right. and when i try, i feel like an imposter or like they dont believe me.

sorry for the vent, today wasn't the best. take care please <3