Ranting on my mental health

Lately my head and overall mood has been in a never-ending roller coaster, I can be at my best one minute and the next I'm thinking of offing myself.

It's been always like this honestly, there's times when it gets more bearable but I've thought I already had control of it, only to realize I don't, it's a bit frustrating after so much time. Maybe it's something derived from being on social media all the time -probably it is-, but what else can I do when I have no energy to do anything at all? Sometimes I have it, I get hopes on having a good life in the future, I have the desire to fix my life, but when it happens I can't do anything about it, it's too late in the night or simply I can't even go out and try to do something and when I can it's already late, the motivation has exited my body.

Maybe it's also the fact that I have few who I can call friends, 5 to be exact, three of wich are online. I made a spacehey profile with that exact purpose, to make friends, but honestly nobody really talks here, at least that's what I see. I know maybe it's cause I don't talk first either but what can I do when even sending a friend request makes me tremble? It's kinda stupid to have my social anxiety affect me even online, but I don't know what to do about it, what will really help? At this point it feels like I'm only going lower and lower.

Will it someday get better?

(also sorry for bad english🤓☝️)