Saying “no”

Date: 19 february 2024 

I remember in 8th grade when I was at one of my lowest points. All I had and all I wanted to have was approval from others. That’s when school was the toughest, and when I found out my friend from Denmark needed a place to stay for her trip to Sweden I couldn’t say “no”. I had been completely drained of energy that entire school week that she had stayed at my place. On the last day when she had slept over at another friends house they called me. They “asked” me to hang out with them. For the first time in a while I answered “no”. They said I was the “worst fucking friend” and they yelled at me until I cried and then they hung up the phone and stopped talking to me. 

After that I think I developed a lot of issues with setting boundaries and telling ppl “no”. And generally I haven’t had good experiences with telling ppl no. Today I voiced my opinion with my friend and for the first time it didn’t go bad when I did that. I have never been able to do this before. I wish everyday could be like this, we’re I’m not afraid to say what I want and the ppl that listen accept it. And they actually apologize to me when they’ve caused me stress. I’ve never had that happen before. I think I might have been and somewhat still am around the wrong people. Maybe I wasn’t the problem so much as they were. Anyway that’s what I have been thinking abt today. 

- Elliot