wack first tinder experience

The first person i talked with off-app was pretty sweet but they had lost interest pretty quickly so we both moved on. The other person was more interested. My gut had a bad feeling about her when we talked but as she didn't really say anything that warranted concern i figured i'd still give her a shot instead of assuming the worst. Only concerning thing she had ever really said at this point was that she was in some drama with friends but as i didn't know her that well to comfortably indulge in her private drama i decided not to pry any further.

So we talked for a while until my mental health took a deepdive and we kinda just fell out of contact in january 2023. It took me months to recover but my mental health is the most stable it's been in recent years but it still took me by surprise that she shot me a message last month, january 2024. I still have no idea why she messaged again but the feeling returned. But again, i don't like assuming the worst in people, so i gave her another shot.

Most of the conversations were fine but she began telling me she got into more drama with friends since last year, told me about how they began to come after her queer identity. Of course i supported her in this.

The more we talked the more she told me about the lack of friends, and her horrible dates in the past. These things aren't bad on their own but when you combine them it does begin to make me wonder why you can't hold relationships. But whatever! That's a thought for later i suppose. (she also kept downplaying her skills in that "i want compliments" way which,, turns out is a big turn off for me ig)

Then there were the occasional uncomfortable messages. The first time i confronted her about this it was a message where she inserted herself into a trip i'm taking with friends and began talking about having babies and getting burried together etc. I was VERY uncomfortable with this as i don't want babies and i quite frankly did not know her. I told her to slow down and she took it as me not willing to put in the effort and said she was "just thinking about the future". She did stop making explicit jokes like that after the fact though. But the fLAGS WERE RAISED

Although she hadn't made jokes as explicit like that since, she did make multiple other jokes about 100% getting into a relationship despite me making it clear i'm not willing to entertain this until we at the very least meet irl. She got defensive so In response i said something along the lines of "if this is how you react to me setting a boundary, then i'm not the one for you" as to which she calmed down and apologized. Alarm bells were ringing but i ignored them.

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Weeks pass of us talking until we finally decided to go on a date. The date itself was okay but i didn't feel any sparks, basically 0 chances of advancing our relationship outside of friendship. When she asked why i said i didn't feel anything more than platonic love, that her making self depricating jokes about her skills is a big turn off and that her previous messages made me pretty uncomfortable.  I told her this in the middle of our date and at the end. This girl promised she can work on it but i told her that doing that takes time, so i'm not going to give her another shot for quite a while. She simply told me it was quite shallow to stop at a first date. Her opinion on this quite honestly did not matter to me. I'm not going to force something i knew wasn't going to happen so i told i'd still love to be friends and she was fine with it (at least i thought she was?)

We continue to talk during which she made it clear she was still going to try to push for something romantic and i was not a fan. A few days later it's valentines and she asked me if i had someone. I did not but i did have a fun little platonic thing planned with my friends where we give each other hand-made gifts secret santa style. Once again she inserted herself just just because i gave her a  hand-made gift on the date and proceeded to ask if i could be her valentine. I was annoyed because i couldn't make it any more clear i was uninterested in her so i rejected her and wished her luck on finding someone else. Admittedly i was a bit cold to her when she inserted herself in my friends event but i still kept it respectful.

She told me she was upset because of something i said earlier that day, and i wasn't surprised. I did reject her quite bluntly. So i apologized. But she repeated again that i cannot make up my mind after a first date and that i should "keep an open mind" this message honestly pissed me off, especially after i kept an open mind despite my gut telling me not to let her in my life at all (and the fact she made it bold, shut up sorry). Then she followed it up by saying i should "calm down" after understandably being upset that she inserted herself into a thing i did with people she does not know and most definitely does not care for.

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It turned into a small fight where she very quickly made it clear to me she only wanted to be friends in the hopes of getting into a relationship. Whether or not that's true, i do not know, but i wasn't here to entertain the possibility after my boundary was pushed so i blocked her. Below was the last message i sent her and my response to her message above.

I figured she might try to contact me via tinder again so i went to block her but before i could she told me to straight up kill myself off a balcony. Mind you, i had been respectful throughout our chats and she never once signaled that this is the kind of person she is, so this really boggled me and my friends (who i kept updated because i wasn't sure if i was being mean).

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UPDATE???

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