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Hi, from my last entry i had basically described what had happened with my friendgroup and i. a lot of people had suggested that i should unfriend and distance myself from them, which i somewhat agree with. the thing is, it's hard. it's hard to not try to join in their conversations (even though i feel stupid for asking 'what's happening?' or 'what's funny?') and it's hard to ignore them altogether since we take the same classes and sit near each other. it's sucky watching them have fun without me and not even trying to include me in things--a few days ago they went to an aquarium together without inviting me. i mean, it was the day i had returned from a trip i went to but they still could've asked, but maybe i'm just being a little salty about it. i'm kind of stuck in a scenario where i'm trying to distance myself from them but can't help but want to join in with them--it's not fun at all and i've been tearing myself apart to find out why they seemingly don't want me around anymore.
i don't know how to bring this up to them without causing a huge issue, and it would be extremely helpful if anyone could give me a bit of advice on how to properly (and slowly) distance myself from my friends.
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EMMET!!
Hi! It's me again :> my advice is to tell them about it, at first they will probably feel bad, offended, or heck might even put the blame on YOU! but that's even more reason why you should leave (if the case). After addressing there are multiple things you could do. Fix the problem, they will involve you more. Say they will fix the problem and do NOTHING(happened with me) or maybe do what I did!
I also had the problem of sitting with them in classes and hanging out at lunch, but maybe don't start sitting somewhere else just yet! Distance yourself, talk to others in your class while sitting at another table. Make friends with others and invite them to join your sitting areas or go to theirs. I know it's hard to make new friends, but follow my motto "If you're not willing to do everything you can, you never wanted it bad enough in the first place." That's how I pushed myself. Hopefully it'll push you!
I hope everything goes your way! :-)
it's been really difficult so far... (￣ ￣|||) i tried sitting with another group during lunch this week at another area and no one had said anything or questioned why. i even skipped school for a day cause i didn't really feel like being alone at school and no one questioned why at all. i'm worried that i'm overreacting about this whole thing tbh and i'm not so ready for confrontation-- how did you begin the conversation in the first place? where is the right time? when should i do it? and how many people did you speak at once?
again i'm really thankful for your advice;; its very difficult not having anyone to talk about this to irl, but it feels good that i'm not alone :)
by Meko; ; Report
The truth is there was no conversation, at first. They went along their days and only contacted me when they realized I haven't texted them nor did I talk to them. After that, they realized they were in the wrong and let me go. They still try to talk to me, but I don't communicate with them bc ik it'll happen again and again and again. And there is no right time, if there was, this would be easier. But ig the right time is when you realized you needed to distance yourself, that was the right time because you realized you're worth more. As for the amount of people I talked too, it was everyone who would have me. But not the jerks or the people who didn't like people like me, I talked to people who were like me! You'll realize that the people you wanted to talk to were right behind you in class, or right across your lunch table! They are easy to find, you just have to reach your hand across first and say "hi". And lord do I know it's hard talking to people you haven't met before, but trust me when I say it's worthwhile. Because when you find that group or just that ONE person, that friend group seems like it was years ago.
by EMMET!!; ; Report
And yea! I'm glad I could be of help :-) you're not alone in this, you'll get through this because this isn't forever
by EMMET!!; ; Report
thank you so much TT
by Meko; ; Report
No prob Bob:-) hope things go your way!!
by EMMET!!; ; Report