back again

Hai more of life and stuff,

its been a min for good reason, 

so to respond to what i last talked about on here

adam and I have been broken up for almost as long as the actual relationship was so yaya

and i think i got over it offically around new years 

i have a vivid memory of summer where i wished pn a dandelion 

and I wished i would be over it by new years, 

and i would like to think thats the whimsical reason im coolin. 

other struff tho 

not so much, 

no meds in like two months (my fault)

and feelin very depressed, 

INSANE SHOCK 

LOCAL CLINICALLY DEPRESSED FOOL DEPRESSED OFF ANTIDEPRESSANTS

but any way i literally hate beeing gay so bad,

its not cool or quirky anymore im just sad and have no one to relate to 

gay girls dont fucking exist jesus, 

they do they just dont want me. 

audry emo drama girl got a girlfriend, 

and this is right after i started like actually having feelings n stuff. 

my own fault for falling for wvery girl that holds me. 

but im still sad about it. 

and really jealous, 

im still never going to be the person that has people confessing to them, 

i just wish someone would, 

its probably not good for me right now though, 

just not doing well im so unmotivated, 

and im so fucking stressed over college stuff, 

all I wanna do is go out of state and im scared i may not be able to do that. 

cause money stuff but im also afraid of everything, 

and not suffucently worried???? 

i really dont know, 

plus going through the phase where I dont like my firends again, 

love wads and pho and sneeze, 

everyone else not so much. 

I cant stand to be around anyone right now, 

partly cause im being a little insufrable,

but hopefull i chill out! 

and so will everything else, 

but yeah i miss her 

and I would go for soemone like m 

but is that a good idea???? 

yeah even I know its not one 

okayyyy im done bai :3