Day 100! Lets goooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hello moth fan stans! For day 100, I was thinking that this would not be the events of one day but rather, the events of 100 days (this blog has been going on for wayyyyy more than 100 days, I skipped a lot) or something like that, I don't really know. I just want this one to be from the heart, I was gonna give a whole corny speech in the last one but I decided to save it for tomorrow and I just patched it up with a playlist. Let's get into it! 

When I started the moth blog, I wasn't in a very good place mentally, yk? I had this deep loneliness and even deep dissatisfaction with myself and with life. On top of that, I was in design class and I realized that I hated design, the prospect of having to take this further made me miserable. It was bad, like stomach cramps everyday bad, not even from dairy or eating poorly but my stress and anxiety and misery got to the point where I had these unbearable cramps. I wouldn't say that life wasn't appealing anymore or anything like that, I still wanted to live, I may be Hamlet but I'm not out here saying to be or not to be, yk? I knew that there was something I could be doing that would make me happy and there was a place in my life where I could feel happy with myself. I wasn't sure what that was and I still don't really know.

I contemplated that for a while...I still didn't know what I wanted or where I wanted to end up but I came up with an idea of the type of person that I'd want to be when I reached wherever it is I wanted to reach and I then came up with a way to get there which was the improvement thing. I tied it to an arbitrary goal... getting a girlfriend. I didn't even really want a girlfriend that badly, I'm happy on my own, it would be nice of course but still, I didn't need a girlfriend. If you guys take or tool chemistry, then you should know what an indicator is, it's basically something tangible which indicates something more intangible, right? Like the litmus test! Getting a girlfriend was kind of like my indicator, when I reached that point it would be like an indicator for a more intangible goal or growth. I'm not sure if that makes or not. Sorry if it doesn't. 

I set to work and I used the blog as a way to keep myself in check but that didn't work so well, I lacked discipline so...I skipped days a lot. I remember my wake up call was receiving a profile comment where the commenter stated that they read my blog and at first I was like "cool, people actually read those" and then I was like "oh shit, people are gonna see how inconsistent I am" and so I became more consistent as more people began to express interest in the moth blog. I was actually asked this a while ago by one of my moots on here, they asked why I keep writing it and it's the readers. You guys reading this motivate me to keep writing this blog and while the aim has shifted and become more loosey goosey, I do still feel that I have to keep on writing these and I enjoy writing them too. Thank you guys so much for reading these. Thank you all for the compliments, I'm kind of blind to compliments but even though I don't acknowledge compliments properly, thank you! I've never had any faith in my writing abilities so it's cool that other people do. 

This sounds really final, I'm not ending the moth blog but we do have a different goal which we'll get to but first why am I changing the goal up??? Well, it feels like so incredibly long ago, since I started the blog when really, it wasn't even half a year ago but the reason why it felt so long ago was because, I grew a lot. My self esteem has improved! If it didn't, I wouldn't actually admit that I grew a lot. I've learnt a lot from the people of Spacehey, you get to encounter all sorts of people, it's so cool, I love meeting different people and hearing different viewpoints, I'm open to anything as long as you're not like a nazi. Anyway, I've grown so much to the point where I need a different goal, I know now, where I see myself, where my loyalties lie. 

I've been reading a lot of 20th Century Boys and I think my new goal is world domination! Cmon, moth fan stans, let's rule the world! It'll be fun, one blog to rule them all! I kid, I kid. My goal isn't a tangible one, it's to learn as much as possible and improve myself to the best of my ability in a way that is healthy for me and those around me. That's long and intangible, you know...world domination is a much more tangible goal. Let's stick with that. 

I already have many follo- I mean friends, friends on this site, one of them even started their own blog inspired by mine, that was cool. I've always wanted to inspire others like Kafka inspired me, though, I didn't make them miserable so, I guess not. My point is, I met a lot of people on this site because of my blog and my pfp, the Asa pfp is so cool, it's like a face card everyone loves it! 

Anyway, I was also going to say, that what I said in the beginning might worry a few people, I'll be honest, i had a shit day today but no stomach aches, I'm much better! I don't feel that way anymore, I still have a lot of ground to cover before I can be truly happy with myself so this blog will continue to go on but also, I'm satisfied with myself, I don't hate myself and I'm not miserable anymore, despite saying that i relate to Hamlet a lot. (I just think it's Shakespeare's most down to earth play). 

Moth fan stans! I want to thank you for reading my 100th moth blog! We are quite a ways away from world domination but we will get there! Let us take over the world together, moth fan stans! ONE BLOG TO RULE THEM ALL!!! On a serious note, thank you for reading this, thank you for sticking along with the ride, no matter where you hopped on, you're welcome here. Also not to brag but the thane of Spacehey himself, Wubzilla, commented on my blog, day 35, I believe? So we've got friends in high places! I'm sorry for not dropping this stupid world domination joke, it's not funny either, I'm the only one laughing at it! Before I carry on with the dumb bit, thank you for reading and I appreciate it, I appreciate all of my readers, every single one of you, every coupled one of you, every triple one of you! I am thankful for all of you! Good night! Have a great night or day! Sleep like a baby, work like a dog, play like a child, i hope you all do whatever it is you have set out to do on this fine day, good bye for real, see you tomorrow!