just some thoughts that need to be manifested

I always believe or feel that I am meant for a tragic death, that my life is somewhat in always verge of disappearing. And even though I am not suicidal anymore. I am certain that I will kill myself and not even for the purpose of suicide itself but a finale for a performance art. Because all throughout of my life, was I ever real to myself.

“One day, I will leave, and you’ll never see me again. And you’ll wonder if I was ever real.”

(ik the sentence screams so much of manic pixie dream girl, but my 1st intention was making it a metaphor about my past relationships, of how I always the 1st one to leave out of a relationship and mostly it's just quiet slow disappearance, with no reason, no explanation.)