a lot in my head

this time of year is always a tough one. 

this past february 8th marked 6 years since a close friend of mine took her own life, and coming up soon next month (coincidentally 4 days from my birthday) will mark 1 year since my ex-best friend of 16 years decided i was worthless and threw me away for setting boundaries and asking for an apology after they were an ableist jerk to me. 

(which, i doubt youre reading this, but if you are, im still mad at you and i hope you think about me and regret it every day <3 fuck you)

i also just remembered as i was typing this that its now been like...i think 2 years (in january) since my ex gf started cheating on me? at least 2 years since she and that person came out and told me about it and forced me into a 3-way relationship :]

what is up with the universe and timing everything so close together?