Jan 28 2024 Jealousy issues

Yesterday when I was siting with Noah and that random girl comes up to us and goes "NOAAH!" all fucking excited and shit like asoon as I see her I wanted to stab her with anything I could find like dont ever e so excited to see my boyfriend like that ever. She should see the things I can make him do and the things I make him feel. It pisses me off so much I physically can't speak or ill scream and chase after her and jump her. I knew this would be a problem ever since I was a kid yknow first it was getting jealous on birthday parties then it was always being left out but I grew out of that I just stopped caring and then jack happened and gave me 100% trust issues that I physically can't grow out of. I've been thinking alot abt the clothes I wear I'm thinking I might change it to alot more masculine since everyone including my teachers have been misgendering me for a long time now despite the name alec.