Oct 4 2023 logan lied agian

I'm not good enough for anyone why did he lie to me I noticed he lies alot to me but everyone does even my closest friends lie I don't know why but I assume they just don't trust me no one really does but I don't trust people either so it's mutual. I can feel myself slipping into it agian the empty emotionless depression and no appetite state I hate that state because my mom worries for me but I know she blames herself for it and I can't control how I feel I'm just a naturally sad person I wish I could be truly loved and cared for instead of ppl only being there when I ask and then moving on to do great things while I'm stuck at square one I'll never experience actually happiness with anyone because they'll all get sick me at one point. I just want to go away and not come back.