Existential Dread: Caused by the realization of The Hedonic Treadmill

Wow I cannot believe how I'm so hopeless with everything. I hate capitalism, yet I thrive in it.

I just realize a lot of people from my age hhahaha is fucking depressed.

I cannot believe how capitalism made me hate myself so much, how it made me despise the circumstances that I was born in, and how it tries to say that this is my all fault.

I don't want to hate my life, my parents just because I cannot afford a good life. I don't want to work so hard and tell the world I did what you want, so give me my fucking reward, I think achieving something with this ambition will never satisfy me or anyone until it ends (your life, I mean this system will continue to grow and will feed off over our life, consuming our time, until we rot and decay at the feet of the champions of this arena (conflict theory sa ucsp kung saan ginamit ang analogy of fighting arena as a metaphor to explain our society ). I think what matters is following your happiness, it is your guide in this cruel world, but what is true happiness if everything is determined by our outside factors ( ito yung twin concept social forces at social facts these concept is what drives us human beings to interact. By interactions we create society, lesson report ko toh sa ucsp, Society as factility) everything is marketable especially your insecurities hahahahhhahdiahdfuhafh I can't even, so determinism (philosophical term naman ang determinism ngl when i learn about this nahadlukan ako kay obsessed ako sa sense of true self ko hahahhahah u are not ur own person but the person that is built around u) is proven due to study of society (it literally fucking says sa book na society controls us but at the end its a good thing daw haha kaiyak sis😭) i mean it has benefits and even if i want to ask more than this then it is too idealistic and prob only me will benefit because i place too much value on myself only to realized i like this certain smth because it was advertise to me as smth cool and i want to be cool but what is true coolnes ghhahga are we allowed to put diff meanings behind these words, shet ang gulo hhaha ik i waste time thinking alot about things like this that probably will not affect my life but what else is there to think about.

To wallow in such empty, remarkable life, fullfill in other people's validation, we seek love and comfort. Can it be found in money?

What can we offer to life? What life can offer to us?

How much are we willing to offer to live?