Mundane-ness

Mundane-ness. 

Oh, I live it every day. And I know it's not entirely my fault - some things cannot be helped. I can't drive anywhere... yet. I don't have friends near me since we moved... yet, and I spend a lot of time inside my room not really becoming much of anything. It is a little sad. Sometimes I think, should I try something new? but I feel I don't respect something if I am forcing myself to try it instead of desiring it out of passion.

I need more friends! wait, no. I should invest in my current friendships. But those friends aren't enough, we hardly speak and they're just on Discord, how much worth is that? Well, they may be on Discord, but they have to be worth something.

Maybe I fail to understand simple pleasures. Maybe the key to my peace with myself is just to live and let live. I review all the interpretations of the meaning of life and treat them as a viewpoint I can consider.

Example: What does Hedonism have to say about my life?

"Your worries are temporary, living in the moment and indulging in your body's existence is the truest and the most righteous way of life. You harm nobody, and how can you, if you are simply out of their way?"

But hedonism doesn't seem very convincing. What about stoicism?

"You might feel depressed now, but these things pass. Your life will change in ways you can't comprehend now, and although it seems horrifying to watch everything move away and change, it is out of your control and your peace is already there."

Good choice of words, but I can't seem to ignore how I feel. We'll try this one last time... what does Freudism tell me?

"Your body does bother you, as much as you feel the need to ignore it and conform to what you were born as. You should address those feelings, those things that you ignore in favor of keeping everything ' simple and easy '. You ARE growing up, but your fear behind it comes from something you haven't addressed, whatever that might be."

...He's almost right. but that's not the root of the issue, it can't be.

It feels bad, still. As much as I try, or don't, it doesn't seem clear to me.