2/5/2024 journal entry

Ah ha! It's been a while since I've done things and I think just sitting down and doing my main purpose on this gay earth is a good idea. Hello

This weekend we were at a comic/anime convention in a big city near us, and it was really fun. Our friend's parents invited us, all expenses paid for, to stay in a little resort for two days as we went to the con all day on Saturday. It was a birthday gift for their son (our friend!) and it was really, really fun. I am ridiculously grateful that we got this opportunity because otherwise we really wouldn't have been able to afford it.

We've been super stressed out about money recently. We barely have the energy to do commissions and our little online shop isn't really doing numbers. We're going to try to scan a sketchbook and hopefully make some money off that. We don't have access to a working flatbed scanner though and I worry that a phone scan is shitty and not worth the money. I don't know what to doo!!! Maybe the county library has some scanners...ugh TT_TT

Money sucks! We're trying to find a good home to rent in another state too for university...everything is so stressful I really just want to sit back and relax. Which is what I'm trying to do right now but I needed to write and get this out of my head so I'm writing a self-destructing bulletin that'll explode in 5 days.

I always feel pressed to write these in a blog entry instead so I can hold memories of how I really felt after big fun trips and such. I don't have a good memory, so i try to hold onto as many written and visual records of memories as I can. It makes me really anxious to have things self destruct, but I feel raw and vulnerable otherwise. I think a good compromise would be to just save these privately in Only Me blogs...actually that's a good idea, I'll do that!

Something that made me happy today was that my partner bought me chocolates! I bought some chocolates today, but had to refund them as when I checked my bank account, I only had $6 left. It had me feeling really sad and distraught that I was so bad at saving money I had to refund a chocolate treat of all things, and I went to my partner to tell him how sad it made me. He asked me how much they were and I knew what was about to happen and felt really bad about it, but he treated it so kindly and told me it was a silly gift so I wouldn't go without a treat. It made me feel spoiled in a good way and I'm very in love with them. I need to remember to package my birthday gift for him soon to mail it. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow before school so I can walk down to the post office and weigh it to see how much it'll be to send it...although I'll probably need to finish my commission before I do so I can afford to send it lmao.

My partner's birthday is like three days before valentine's day which I think is very cute. He is made of love and I love him so much.

I think the next cosplays I want to buy are Haruka from projsekai and miss miku. I don't have an excuse to wear dresses a lot so I think once we're financially stable enough to afford cosplay indulgence one of those is going to be the next I buy. That won't happen anytime soon, as I'm relying on just the cosplays I have right now to get by lol. I need to buy some elf ears and antlers with the gift card money I have left for the upcoming renaissance festival though! it'd be cute i think... it also completes a cosplay of my dnd character :) and I don't have to feel guilty about it because it's a $50 amazon gift card, what else am i gonna use it for? i hate amazon but like...i'm not gonna let free money just rot

I think that's all for my train of thoughts. Overall I'm happy we had a fun time. Back into my brain hole I go goodnight