year of the

on the walk home, my own mortality gripped me. getting older is not a small feat. i spent the night embracing it only to be wracked with nerves in the last hour. everything was out to get me - the cars, the streets, the sky. people with their groceries walking by. dogs and bikes and road signs and crosswalks. i stumbled into them all. the shadowy figures in the park, the hospitals. it was all too much. i walked slow and for the first time in a long time, i saw stars. no amount of light pollution could take them away this time. in some small way, my body was crying out. there’s this feeling of knowing. and you just keep going. you keep walking until you get home, you just do.

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