1/2/2024 Drama to start the month

Ooh drama bitches 

I need to stop thinking "mh no drama for a while" CUS THEN STUFF HAPPENS

ANYWAY SO

Okay few days ago I get a text from another classmate that was like "this Thursday the prof said he could help us w anatomy at 11 am, if you wanna come."

I already go on Thursday cus of watercolor class, but that starts at like 2 pm+ 

So I had to wake up earlyy and oh what I would have missed if I didntttt

So I get there, this earlier class starts, it's ab anatomy, okay. At some point, my prof is like if you wanna be one of the better artists, you have to study more, you cant half ass stuff, you gotta go more in depth

My classmate, Purple, starts arguing back. Not arguing but like, confrontational, being like well I've seen ppl on socials doing just fine w not going too in depth

N basically they went back n forth w the prof being like, you want mediocrity or Excellency, cus those mfers on Instagrams aren't the actual professionals that actually work and are known 

And like he's a professional, so ofc this will be his pov

Plus once you start half saying something his brain goes "target mode acquired"

Basically you don't get polemic w him. Like he will chew you up, he knows, he has the experience, esp in stuff like this

N she was like well I need to make money somehow those ppl on Ig and Patreon do some, I gotta sustain myself

N he's like "why did you got into arts if you want fast money" 

N she got personal like "well it was the one thing I could do " yada yada like girl, it's also the only thing I can do but this is the wrong mfing argument

Anyway ya the convo ended there a lil heated, then he said some other stuff, ok.

Little class ends, he goes somewhere else, I need to stay until 2 pm anyway for the actual class so I just put my headphones on so I don't have to hear them talking 

Now idk how much Purple talked ab the little confrontation w the prof , cus again w these headphones you don't hear NOTHING that's going around you.

All I know is at some point other go to the near supermarket, just Purple and another two stay and at some point there's a pause in my music n I hear them argue ab the thing, but all I clearly get is purple going "I've been drawing since before highschool" 

N that's it

Then a bit later the music goes lower again n another classmate goes "well then then talks end here" or smth along those lines?? Idk

And then silence.

At some point Purple goes away, I'm focused on my drawing so idk if she took her bag, where she went, I know nothing.

Time passes, other classmates get back from the store, me still headphones in

I get a text, open it 

IT'S FUCKING PURPLE 

She says "you know? I'm starting to understand why you isolated yourself. I judged too early your behavior at the time, you saw in advance (idk how to translate this last part, basically it's when someone seems to see more than it's known at the time, to put it simply.)"

And I'm just there, paint brush in one hand reading like ooh it's bad badddd

An argument lasts for once more than 5 seconds and suddenly it's a state affair

I'm not complaining cus it's fun but still 

Also my isolation is bad. Like, I should have just stayed on minimal speaking terms n not been all that dramatic, like I'm a lot in the wrong and I know it 

Anyway I answer "everyone has diff perspectives. I was feeling disconnected even when I was still "part of the group" 

Which is true.

She answers "you did good, the important thing is that you feel better this way" which not really but honestly that disconnection I felt was still exhausting, they as a group are exhausting, theres not one second of silence, not one second of pause. 

I say back "if someone's is together cus they spend school hours together, the connections are weaker. It's a bit forced."

Then I hear half a second of the other classmates talking ab the situation, in weird fragments

"basically the discourse is ab her being here to sell her products, her art, not to learn" 

"yeah and then she was like oh how dare you and stuff" 

"Shed starts stuff with [insert here name of another prof] too but she wouldn't answer"

"Why would start stuff w her"

"The prof was already like don't bullshit me when she said that other stupid thing ab that muscle" 

"Shes been gone for half an hour now"

"Where did she went"

N I was like. Mh let's find out! 

I have a weird routine anyway so I let some painting I was doing drying n went around, seeing if she was still somewhere around school.

I do a quick check if the room and no I don't see her, and I don't see her bag or her things.

I also text her "at least now I know how they talk ab others when they're not present" 

Which was one of my fears that didn't make me try to reconnect

I was specifically like "what if they said a lot of mean shit behind my back. How can I be all fun and laughs with that doubt"

I check the parking lot, I check where I usually go in front of the sea, stuff like that, I'm not seeing her

Okay, interesting

I order some food, use it as an excuse to get some paper from the main building and look around to check if she's there, maybe eating alone

No signs 

Mh okay.

I sit outside a bit having lunch, she either went home or went somewhere else for lunch and is gonna come back like two mins before the start of the class 

 I can just wait 

And so I do

No signs of her

2 pm? More like 5 on with all this tea 

She replies " sorry? They're talking ab it? I don't wanna know the details but fr?"

Which like, personally I would ask for details, you kidding? Anyway I go "a couple sentences where said, dunno the story nor the details" half true, I wouldn't be able to repeat the correct sentences n I'm nothing more than a witness in these situations

She's like "thanks for sharing :(" like two hours later n the thing ends there which is fine cus honestly I don't even like her a lot

Like she's still the bitch that calls herself a fuj*shi n shit, imma mention hey they did in fact talk shit behind your back but I'm not going above n beyond. I'm stirring the pot but I'm not adding thyme. 

Watercolor class come and goes, a relaxing one for once, I end up having some time to talk to the secretary guy at school, there was already smth we had to discuss so I'm like oh btw, since the watercolor prof was confused n stuff, today Purple went back home early cus of a big discussion that happened

Cus I didn't know if she talked to anyone, and the prof was surprised to not see her at the class, n the classmates were like uuuh we don't know we thought she went in another room but idk after that 

The secretary guy is like oh ya she did come to me before going, n she looked super mad 

N I was like oh okay, just wanted to mention it for the records, that it wasn't out of nowhere 

She's in the wrong and I'm not defending her but also idk what the others involved might say, maybe in a distorted way ykkk

Anyway lil small talk w him, apparently someone else from the class also mentioned this thing to him in privated, but idk exactly what they said n I don't care that much 

And I went for my merry way 

I'll discover on Monday if they'll just go back to tehee #bff 

Or if things will be a bit colder 

Or if stuff will go back to normal it just needs time for everyone to chill down 

Will keep y'all updated on the teaaa

a 

That's ab it, see ya

A ghost writing from its grave and sipping tea

signing off