Week rewind 25/01/2024

Ok so not a daily journal cus again, stuff is boring n I'm lazy but ig i can write ab two days on the same post, still

So Monday, for printing class I went to the room n there were like. Students I've seen before n they were painting n I was like,,,

How am I gonna set up the MFING tables but I was just like whatever n waited 

Waiting, I put together a small document preparing for the other class of the day, n 30 mins before the first started I was like hey girlies I got class in half an hour I gotta start setting up the table n they were like ok

Luckily they were already half finishing cus they ordered food n stuff, yada yada 

I finish this lil document n then start working on some linocut for the class that's ab to start, for which I also, fucking finally brought the paper where to print on

It's a simpler linocut than the other projects Ive done, prof reminds us that we have only few weeks left of this class AND SOMEONE STILL HASN'T PRINTED NOTHING. NADA. NIENTE. INSERT HERE THE TRANSLATION IN OTHER LANGUAGES

like girl,,,, fucking stop treating this class like tea time, maybe? Just a suggestion. 

Also can confirm these new headphones are goodddd against my classmates, which is AMAZING I should have bought em months ago honestly

I clean my place in time for end of the class, drop my stuff in the other room n then chill a lil bit at the sea. 

Days are getting longer again, so I don't find a dying sunset when I step out of my first class

Now, this second class is the one where we have to do an assignment a month. Every month different. One time the prof give us the input, the other we choose and so on, I mentioned this a few times. 

This month I was doubting whether I should continue a project I started or try to do Andor fanart. Reasons for the first one: I alr had a starting point n something to develop, while fanart Id have to study the character, decide how to draw him, decide on a composition, between pose, and colors, and backgrounds and yada yada.

Pros of the fanart?

Uh. Brain worm. Brain worm obsessed with this series. That's it.

So what dud I end up choosing?

Im too weak to make the brain worm shut up. 

So I rewatched the series, took screenshots to use in studies, did studies, filled three pages of sketches of this guy, then did some more in digital. (Lemme know if u wanna me to post em)

 N the first week our class got canceled so I ac had two weeks to do studies instead of one, which was a bit of a blessing honestly.

So back to real time, I get to class and prof starts reviewing the various projects based on a list. A list they made two weeks ago, when we had to decide what to work on this month. I. Wasn't present when the list was made cus I always have to get out of class early to catch the bus. 

So he goes over the whole list and like fucking always I end up being the last to present my project. Which is a problem when you also have go away earlier to catch the bus.

So while other had 20 fucking minutes to discuss shit like why you can't draw vegetables too cute if u want kids to eat em, I lit had 5 before I had to run for my bus.

Was I mad? Oh absolutely but I tried to not show it which honestly idk how much it works, when I'm pissed off I'm pissed off, not good at being fake. 

So the prof is like ok u mentioned a bit of the project in DMS (cus since I had to fucking Get Out Earlier I also had to end up messaging the prof the next day to explain what I was thinking of doing this month) have u done some research on it, do u have some time to show me?

N again, I just said uh I have 5 mins idk how much I'm able to share

And this time it pissed me off more because this!!! This is important to me. I normally avoid fanart cus I'm just scared but I fucking like this thing so fucking much I wanna try to get over my fears and now there's a chance I might loose the bus and so the train too and I forget everything I wanted to say, every point I wanted to go over n I stumble even more than I normally do over my own words, I speak more awkwardly than usual, between the anxiety of time and the frustration of the whole thing 

What I wanted to say, you ask? 

Everything

How interesting I find the face of the actor and how fun it is to draw for my style that doesn't tend to be super soft and prefers strong noses and sad eyes and grumpy faces.

And how I still wasn't sure ab the composition, that normally in my brain the whole thing just pops up and this time I had nothing, so I was scared of what to do, and how many screenshots I took in my rewatch, and the expressions I noticed he tends to do, and how the colors of the cinematography change through the arcs, and how the character wears always certain outfits, and how I wanted to include his gun in the final drawing cus it's a cool fucking gun, and how maybe the color palettes for the project could have been less saturated colors like the series but with orange accents cus it's the color the rebellion in star wars use a lot and AAAAAAAAH

I had a lot to say ok

I showed him the pencil sketches, n he liked em mostly n he fucking agreed that my way of drawing can be fun for more angular n less soft faces n I think on Monday I'll bring the studies again so he has like two more seconds to look at em n point out where I did better n worse cus yk, it's important

Anyway then a couple days where I have to drag myself out of bed to do watercolor homeworks cus I hate them so so so so much

Today, which was watercolor class, I ended up ordering lunch cus idk I was hungry as hell 

Got a pizza, was so fucking good 

Cleaned up, when purple arrived it was too late to do some more sketches of the fanart I'm doing for the other class 

So I just. Went outside but not outside outside, just in the internal big place my uni building has, so no sea. 

It's a windy day but at lunch time, with walls around you, you're not hit that hard and there was a very nice sun so I just went lizard mode n chilled on a chair for a bit, until it was time for class

Showed stuff to my prof, he was ok with some of it which fucking finally cus it was something I worked so many days on and done over and over n was dragging from before December break 

The new one no, n I have to do it differently, and try in a different one, "do first apply the rules later" no I have no idea what the fuck that means 

Ugh n that's it. 

A ghost writing from its grave, signing off.