guyz lul...

hai so i probs should have said something right then and there when it bothered me, but then i would have been crying for 3 nights in a row...

i have a list of people i do not like, either they have wronged me or they are acting like they r above me.. there are a few that have actually been high-school bully-esque, and it's hurtful cuz i havent even done anything to them!!!!

ok whatever i told my bf and he tried to make me feel better but also kinda said that he doesnt know what to tell me if im still sad cuz theres nothing i can do about it. it hurt my feelings. i am allowed to feel sad. in my old house, i wasnt allowed to feel anything at all. no happy, no sad, no angry, nothing. i cried and cried and he comforted me and said sorry. the next night i was falling asleep and amidst my sleepy-delusion, i said i had an opp on the first floor of our dormitory. he asked who it was and i didnt want to tell him, because i knew he would say something that could probably drive me over the edge. and he did. told him it was a girl that i feel like probably had a crush on him, to which he responded with, "she has a bf... plus u were friends with the guy that liked you. and so was i." !!!! what!!! okay i was flat out being rude to the kid that allegedly liked me... everyone knows i love my bf more than any dude.. plus girl on girl,, i have gotten pretty fucking good and accurate at determining whether or not another girl likes a dude. it's pretty obvious. even now, 5 months later, the girl appears to avoid me. this is good with me, i dont want to interact knowing she may have had feelings for him. 

crazy part- he told me to be friends with her. he said i should be more open minded and be happy and make friends. no. i said no. i dont want to be friends with her. any girl that has her eyes on him is a girl that i do not want to be friends with. i dont share. im selfish. i dont care. some ppl play too much... i wouldnt cheat on him, and he wouldnt cheat on me. but i still am not trying to befriend some girl that might like him, even if he says she doesnt. i can see things very clearly. i learned how to observe and understand and decipher in my toxic household. now im paranoid, alert, and sensitive. i do not fuck with you bitches.

aisakat out