Light and Dark

I watched a video the other day of someone who called themself an Ex-Satanist and how they came to return to Christianity. He described his then-friends as witches, pagans, Satanists, etc.  He described himself as being discontent with his spiritual path, and holding on to an unhealthy resentment "against God." He then spent a week around a Christian crowd, initially because he had to as he was with family.  By the end of that week he had decided to convert after meeting a Christian who seemed to genuinely care about him by asking if he could pray with him, for him. 

I am an ex-Christian myself, and I felt I was able to understand his reasoning even if I didn't agree with his conclusion.  Basically, here was someone who had surrounded himself with bad influences - dropouts, druggies, and others who were not really going anywhere in life - and these people went by those various pagan labels.  And then he comes across a genuinely good community who cares about each other - a group of Christians whose mere act of expressing care for him clearly had such a profound impact on him to cause a radical shift of spiritual path.

One of the comments of the video put the thoughts of many followers poetically : something like "How wonderful it is when one of the Kingdom of Darkness comes into the Kingdom of Light!"

To be a devout Christian is to be, in their words, a part of the Kingdom of Light. Outside of this realm is that of Darkness.

I believe people are far too complex to place in those neat little labeled boxes.

And yet, for the outside observer, it very clearly illustrates this idea of the Christian perspective, that there is one side and the other ; one is either on the side of the Light or is under the deception of the devil. This is a scriptural based idea and therefore cannot be reasoned away from those who take the idea on faith. And I do not fault them for that or think less of them for their personal choice of perspective ; the world is dangerous, our senses are limited, and all of us might benefit from the guidance of wisdom built over generations.

However, it is because of this strict perspective, that to attempt any sort of reason or education to the validity of contrary viewpoints is then made impossible. Now that the mind has been so thoroughly submerged into this way of thinking, it fundamentally changes how other philosophical ideas are processed. Because there now exists a filter of sorts which all ideas must pass through. To cross this filter, the idea must pass the test at the gate "Is this idea founded on biblical principles?"

If the idea does not pass this filter, it must be rejected. Whether the idea is objectively true or not, whether the action or thought is of sound reason or not, bears no importance any longer to the filtered mind, as everything not clearly in keeping with Biblical morality is deemed as deception by Satan himself.

In my experience, this Path of Light crafted in the Bible seemed the most obvious choice in early life. An alluring reward of eternal paradise is provided at the low cost of a bit of faith and some nonnegotiable terms self-sacrifice. Yet such discipline is a negligible price for an eternity in paradise, isn't it?

In later entries I will share my experiences and my thoughts in how I came to be comfortable in this initially scary Kingdom of Darkness, where nothing is certain and there is no clear path. Where you must make your own light and pave your own path.  There is no ex-Christian therapy that I know of, and deprogramming is difficult.  But by the end of the road, ideally before then, you can learn how to fully embrace yourself and shed internalized guilt and shame.

And I do feel a little silly having written most of this wearing a Kingdom Hearts Heartless t-shirt.