how to (correctly) use a computer

i use a computer. so should you. in fact, you probably already compute on a daily basis. however, there's a very high chance you're doing it very wrong. bad. 

how do you do it? ohhhh boy have i got a set of steps for you bud 

1. grab a computer that is at lesast 15 by 37 inches. it will sing you lullabies as you go to sleep

2. use a separate keyboard. show the computer that it will Never feel yhour touch.

3. feed the computer a live mouse

4. tyepe into NOT GOOGLE the words "computer interface"

5. make ou t with the keybaord. the computer will never understand that feeling. make it yearn for t he feeling of love and lust. 

6. cry

7. type in "twitter dot cuom!" 

8. cry but in a complaining way

done!!!!!! good job on computering Corrreclty!!! don't ever let the computer's feelings be reciprocated!!