day 1 (if i choose to count from today onwards)

i think i have an eating disorder. i choose to ignore it. im on a strict dieting schedule and i avoid food at almost all costs. i hate eating and i hate chewing. 

its been a long time since i've monitered my caloric intake and as the days go by i feel it consume me more and more. there's no particular reason other than the fact that i kind of hate myself. my weekly calory plan looks a little like this: